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Steps:
1.Remember a fundamental of slackerism: Why put off something for tomorrow which could be done by someone else? Being proactive is the antithesis of slackerism. Eventually, the truly important things will get done by someone more qualified to do them than you. Embrace this founding tenet of slackerism.

2. Set the lowest imaginable goals for yourself and have extremely low expectations for the world around you. That way you can never be disappointed. Alternatively, set extremely high goals for yourself while still maintaining low expectations. This way, you can lament about your lost hopes and dreams to others when they attempt to prod you into action. Cite depression as your excuse for sitting around. Others will be sympathetic towards your "methods of coping."

3. It's important that no-one of authority recognize your lifestyle. Should this happen, you may be at risk of being made to do actual work. To avoid this, find tasks which appear to be time consuming. You will always appear to be productive, even when you aren't. Alternatively, undertake productive tasks, but confine them to extremely limited time periods. 30 minutes today should be considered an absolute maximum. Make sure the authority notices you during this busy period!

4. Ramen Noodles are key to the slacker lifestyle. No other food provides such an ideal combination of portability, flavor, low cost and a high reward-to-effort ratio. (This one is serious :D I eat ramen on a daily basis. Yeyramen.)

5. If, at this point, you are trying, re-examine the guide before proceeding. Being a slacker requires minimal effort, if any at all.

6. Make less appear to be more in all aspects of life. Others will give you the kind of credit and influence which will help to shrug off your responsibilities on them. Embrace philosophies such as Existentialism, Nihilism, Atheism, and Minimalism. Use them to justify your slacker ways.

7. If, for some reason, there is no way to avoid being productive, wait until someone comes and literally drags you out of bed, dumps a bucket of cold water on you, wrestles you into some clothes, force-feeds you Pop Tarts, and hauls you, on their gas money, to whatever needs to be done. Upon arrival, remind them of your medical condition and insist on a ride back to your house. Lock them out and get back on with the important things in your life.


Tips:

1.Other people will likely be disappointed with you at first. Understand that their disappointment is actually envy. Few can achieve the lifestyle of a true slacker, and your success has shown them how futile their lives are.

2.Seek out (time and effort permitting) your local Slackers United office and, if you're very, very lucky, an associate may be around to take your call and offer some helpful tips on how other slackers in your area are getting along.


Warnings:

1.Remember that to be a slacker is not to be a bum. Always maintain the bare minimum of survival without living above or falling below it.

2.Avoid associating yourself with too many productive people. This may lead to someone of relative importance noticing your inactivity and forcing you back into functioning society.

3.Beware of boredom and depression, two common pitfalls of being a slacker. Learn to enjoy the feeling of doing absolutely nothing, and accept your role in life as a parasite on society.


You Will Need:

1.Stove or microwave oven

2.Pan to make your Ramen noodles in

3.Microwave-safe bowl (to eat or cook the Ramen, assuming you don't spring for the Cup-A-Soup kind)

4.Utensils to eat with (optional)

5.Water source

6.Couch

7.TV set (with remote - or someone to sit by it and change channels)

8.Food source (other people who are willing to go out and buy you more Ramen)

9.Source of periodic income (parents, friends, roommates, or government handouts)

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