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School/College
1. Outfox the assignment. When asked to type a report about Philosophy, write the report on whether or not that piece of paper actually exists.

2. Lie. When asked to write a long report, write the first few paragraphs then print it out. Tell the professor your computer crashed right when it was printing. Use the word "like" improperly while speaking.

3.Engage in transparent nonsense. For a report, type a whole bunch of gibberish and say your computer has a virus.

4. Advance a sorry excuse for an extension. (This one is a good way to get an extension on your report due date.) Hand in to your professor a letter written in Arabic to your cousin Sueinzeidt bin Gethaden. When the professor asks you what the heck it is, say "Oh, I'm so sorry - I must have accidentally sent my report to my cousin instead. It's gonna take at least 3 weeks to get it back!" Then go and start your report over again, because your professor is not stupid, and this will never work.

5.Start talking to someone but don't look at them. If they are in front of you, then look to the side of them (as if there's another person standing next to them). If they are to the side and not in front of you, then look ahead and talk to them. When they don't respond to you then tell them "Are you listening or what?? I'm not going to waste my time if you won't listen to me!" Then get angry and still talk to the 'person' next to them.

6. Repeat what the teacher is explaining so it sounds like an echo. But don't repeat everything too loudly, just make it a murmur kind of thing.

7. Make noise. If your teacher has a rule about gum, make extremely loud chewing noises. Your teacher will tell you to stop chewing gum, and you say, "I'm not chewing gum!" Then start 'chewing' again.

8. Look at another classmate's test paper conspicuously and then when they shoot you dirty looks, mouth to them, "What?" and make an insulted face.


Public Restrooms
1.Dissimulate. While in the stall, drop a marble and say "Dang it! That's the third time today that blasted glass eye came out!"

2. Gross out others. While in the stall, suddenly yell "yuck! Man, I knew I shouldn't of put my lips on that!!"

3. Put one end of the toilet paper in the bowl and flush! Have fun - this is a classic!

4. Go in a stall in front of other people with a large thermos, newspaper, and portable DVD player and pretty much "make camp" in there for the rest of the day.

5. Melt a snickers bar in the microwave then plop it in a toilet. To be extra gross, stick it on the wall! For an even worse effect, try taking a bite out of it first!

6. Get a handful of paper towels, mix them with soap and water, form into a ball, and throw 'em at the ceiling. They'll definitely stick, and no one wants to take 'em down, so they'll stay up there for weeks! Unless of course you are assigned to do this job in the detention you may very well earn yourself.

7. Sing annoying 80's or repetitive songs in a high falsetto voice while in the stall. If you sing loud enough, your voice will echo.


Other
1. Study others to see what annoys them most...then do that!

2. Cause harmful panic. While in a pool place suddenly yell out "FIRE!" (You may and probably will be kicked out.) This will also help you to be one of the few in society to run afoul of the First Amendment.

3. Vandalize mannekins. While in the makeup section of a mall or store, take out lipstick, blush or anything else and start drawing with it on the model faces. When an employee asks you what you are doing, reply in a childish voice, "I was just practicing..."

4. Be rude. While in a quiet sit-down restaurant, make loud burp and farting noises. Also act like you're talking to someone on a cell phone and pretend you can't hear them. Keep saying "What? I can't hear you! You're breaking up!" over and over again - and refuse to go outside to talk.

5. Act like a complete nut. Wherever you go, act like you are someone very famous and ask everyone if they would like your autograph.

6. Be a very sorry character. Wherever you go, pretend you know someone, and get mad when they don't recognize you. (This one is really fun!)

7. Go into a gas station or other similar place and talk in a hard to understand language (like British) and ask to use the potty/wash room. Or make up your own language!

8. Try to hug everyone you see on the street.

9. Wear really dumb clothing like a clown's pants, a colorful large afro, huge glasses, pants put up very high, or even clothing intended for the other gender.

10. Toy with the law. When pulled over by a cop for speeding, reply "Officer, I was speeding because I wanted to get home in time to watch my favorite TV show: COPS."

11. Go into an 'electronics' section of the mall and sit in the free sample massage chair all day. Refuse to share with other customers.

12. Be mean and nasty to those who work for a living to support a family. When a sales person calls, say stupid things like "Sorry, he's in jail right now" or "Look lady, I'm trying to prank call my ex-girlfriend, do you really have to pick times like this to call?"

13. When you're at the movies, throw popcorn around and say "It's snowing."

14. Cause a major disruption. In a movie theater yell "Can you pause the movie I have to go to the restroom."

15. Answer every question with another question. Does that make sense to you?

16. Play as if you were a two-year old. At some public bathrooms they have green colored soap that you can keep pumping it until it looks like a puddle of barf.

17. Pick out a random person on the street, grab them firmly by the shoulders and say, "You sir, are the most amazing person I've ever met!" Then put your hand on your heart and pretend to be deeply touched.

18.While walking in a crowded place, skip in circles and sing.


Tips:
1. Watch shows like Trigger Happy TV and The Office for great tips on how to be annoying.

2.Also, do a Google search. Searching the internet can be a good way to annoy yourself. (You might end up on some crazy article like this one.)


Warnings:

1.A lot of these things can get you in real trouble. Even though they're fun to do, stick to a minimum and don't go too far out with these pranks. You could get blacklisted on the Internet or even physically hurt.

2.Most of the suggestions in the School/College section for getting extensions will not work if your teacher or professor has at least half a brain, so you should probably not attempt them unless you like failing or you teacher has a history of lobotomies.

3.Not everyone will like you.

4.You risk losing credibility in the future.

5.Be very careful who you do many of these things to. Your worst enemy might not be the best choice.

6.Be careful when you do these things. If somebody is not in the best mood that day, or there is some crisis going on with the person your doing it to, you could get in a lot of trouble.

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